Posts (page 2)
corbin bernsen has been diagnosed with corbin bernsen disease.
he is currently being treated in the st harry hamlin centre
lets all keep our fingers crossed for corbin bernsen.
he should be fine and dandy. corbin bernsen disease is one of the best diseases you can get. corbin is being brought grapes and lucozade in bed by his brothers: bourbon bernsen (alchoholic), orbitn bernsen (astronaut) brawn bernsen (weightlifter) kingprawn bernsen (sushichef) tradein bernsen(car salesman).
i dont understand why books are classified as fiction and non-fiction. fiction means not true. which means that non-fiction means not-not-true. which is plainly just bad english.
and also i dont think we should be classifying stuff firstly through the negative. as in books are 'false and not false.'
so from now on we're swapping it around and changing the meaning of the word fiction.
fiction now means true. and non-fiction means not true. that should clear up any confusion.
true history of the kelly gang
has anyone else read this book? i thought it was really good. so much so that iv stopped short of reading the final chapter cos i dont want it to end. which ive done with a few films as well. im diggin this pink text too. if anyones got a problem with that they can come fight me right now. i read lord of the flies recently too which i also thought was the bees knees. the last ten pages my heart was racing which i dont think has ever happened to me before with a book. i think if it was to get rewritten today they could push the boundary even further on it and it would be excellent. half way through the book i thought it was going to get soooo dark when it had basically been a kids book up until then. i thought 'this guy is so smart hes lured me into thinkin this is an innocent boys adventure book' and thats half the reason i loved it. for what i thought it was gonna be rather than exactly what it was. it was still dark. but not uber dark. which means really dark.
see me. critiquing the classics.
Considered one of the founding fathers of jazz punk, the music industry is mourning the loss of Thomas john ‘rabbit hole lemon tooth decay’ Kincaid.
With well known hits such as:
‘Raspberry covered mommas boy’
‘A little bit of orange concentrate goes a long long way’
‘Her atomic bomb body and her neutron bomb brain’
And ‘The man from potoko river’
Please use the comment space below to share your fondest memories, personal stories, favorite lyrics or song titles of Thomas john kincaid.
Rest in peace rabbit hole.
i like the way a fresh heavy jar feels in my hand, I like depressing the little lid, the tamper evident safety button- discard if button pops up- i like twisting away that little piece of lid-sealing cellophane and seeing it flicker in the light. i like coaxing that metal lid. Holding lightly at first then grasping, squeezing, turning the little metal trapdoor from its glass jar. Then that orange glow. Like a little sugar sunbed. then attacking with the knife or spoon, smearing, spreading, destroying. i love that first taste, washing it over my teeth, the little fingers of orange sugar buzz filling me, caressing me feeling that orange bonfire sliding deeper and deeper down my throat till i think im going to combust then SSSSSS! into my stomach, no two mouthfuls ever quite the same.
Then always the unexpected finish of the jar. Disbelief. Wasn't it just half full yesterday? Paranoia. Didn't we have another jar behind the beans? The blind panic. Substituting with disappointing jam. Then orange cravings. Sugar deprevation. Shakes. Violent outbursts. Fruit Hallucinations. Self harm. Fear. Horrible fear. Insomnia. Crying. Finally The carroty sunrise. Then slowly some relent. As the low evens itself out. Till the store opens 8am.
as you all know elusive molly didnt get any work after 'the breakfast club' so today we introduce this regular new feature to the blog of navarone:
'wheres molly?'
if you have seen molly ringwald today then you have to comment whereabouts you seen her and what she was doing.
i have already received a few by fax.
* i just seen molly packing groceries in 'happy foody' health shop in downtown illinois. alison jameson, illinois
*molly stood behind me in the que to see the little amateur film 'the wet and tattered coat' at felixstowe odeon she had a medium pepsi and a pick and mix with only cherry cola bottles in. brian.
* i just seen molly in the middle of airdrie high street chasing an empty crisp packet in the wind.
* molly just swam past me at govanhill swimarama. had a green swimming costume on. tess.
hark! what demon cast it shadow by my door. begorrah and cry foul it be the working week.
it doth encroach like cold fingers up my jacksy
surely it is too soon
feck. it be sunday already?
postpone thy cruelty
and return another day or never. suityersel.
what vengfil god lays such heavy burden upon my fored
why me yee big galoot?
what poisoned fruitcake have i placed within your picnic basket for you to smite me so
silence is your tongue and yet your shadow still approches
unfettered and unrelenting like the community charge.
i say! pass by my humble door deaf unwelcome visitor.
go onward to the jones' at number 8
they be languid and have not worked a day, the buggers o' benefit fraud.
hold back on oprah and the mid morn crap
for my tender stomach cannot digest. my disposition is for weekend and not
the week. My bum squeals and parps so, like the cowardly Chihuahua
My eyebaws sobbeth. My spine like yellowest rubber it doth bend and shiver.
Back, back I say.
Aff. Calamity. It has me by the knackers.
I am finished like all seasons of sopranos on hbo
Garp. My eyesight fades. The 5 day fiend has triumphed
Torture. Tortoise. Tortal recall.
It gibberish. My minds agoner.
it is 1941. the 303rd chocolate division has been in north africa for over a month. sergeant brownie is in command.
alright treats. gather round. i just want to have a summing up of what stage we're at. let me first say i think its been a mistake stationing us here but i think we've just got to make the best of it.
just then a sweaty chocolate soldier runs in. he has a cloudy white discolouration. his wrapper is badly torn.
sergeant sergeant! news from the front sir!
speak up son. whats your report?
well sergeant. its a mess sir. a damn mess. were just not prepared for this heat. its playing havoc with the whole of the chocolate division sir. a lot of the boys are having trouble with sand sticking to them. the mars got so gooey in the sun we had to pop them in the fridge for a couple of hours to toughen them back up. and the flakes sir-theyre crumbling out there. thay cant take it. theyve went doolally and started munching on themselfs. the wagon wheels are stuck fast in the sand sir. this damn sand. the tunnocks teacakes went down quick. we peeled off their wrappers. oh it was awful sir. there was marshmallow all spilling out, all stuck to the inside of their uniform. the chocolate guns arent worth a fuck sir. after 10 minutes under that angry eye we cant tell where we end and our rifles start.
my god son. whats keeping us in the game out there?
its the bounty bars and the mirages sir. they seem to fit in just fine. theyre giving the enemy a pounding sir. and the caramel wafers. i dont know what those boys are made of sir but its not chocolate i'll tell you that! it makes you proud sir, damn damn proud!
alright son. get back to the front. ill radio hq and tell them to get more caramel wafers down here and see if we cant win this chocolate box.
hq? sergeant brownie here. i'm gonna need a platoon of caramel wafers, a division of bounty bars, a box of mirages- fuckit- make that ten boxes, and a platoon of hot chocolate asap. by the time we're done these fruit eating, health-nut, perfect-skinned, veg-munching bastards arent gonna know whats hit 'em!
company of navarone on siesta. stop. will return with usual extravagant stories and nonsense. stop. much jollity and general amusement will ensue. stop. then you will remember it wasnt really that good anyway. stop. and it will become rather annoying and tedious. stop. if not just downright shit if we're honest. stop. then you will really wish a bad accident will befall me. stop. and wonder how to remove from neighbourhood without further repercussions or back and forth cussing. stop. miss it at your peril. stop. in the meantime to abate navarone lust and prevent rioting and looting....stop. small post about chocolate army follows. stop. see you in couple weeks. stop.
Hollywood hunk Brad Pitt and former "Friends" star Jennifer Aniston have split up after 74 minutes.
Rumors of an impending break-up swirled throughout monday. today the couple made an official announcement of their separation. In a statement published on blog of navarone website, Pitt and Aniston said, "We would like to announce that after seventy four minutes together we have decided to formally separate. For those who follow these sorts of things, we would like to explain that our separation is not the result of any of the speculation reported by the tabloid media. This decision is the result of much thoughtful consideration."
Pitt and Aniston, who were once in Malibu, CA have pledged to remain friends.
